Being "Real"

A few of my friends have recently done lists of 100 random things about themselves.
They’ve shared things that are real about themselves.
Real, true, vulnerable things that give insight to who they really are.
These entries have brought lots of memories back to my mind about my life in the year 2000.
In the year 2000 I met a person who made me stop and think and live!
Trent made me laugh like I’ve never laughed before.
He made me smile.
He made me cry.
He made me vulnerable.
Trent lived life with an adventurous spirit and encouraged me to be me… the real me.
Not the “me” that people wanted to see, or the “me” that looked perfect on the outside, or the “me” who wasn’t all about truth… the “me” who God made me to be.
I learned so much from him in a short amount of time, and when I think back to those few months, I praise God for the work he did in me (with the help of of my friend Trent).
My journaling came to life in the summer of 2000.
My spiritual life reached new heights in the summer of 2000.
My view of myself changed… for the better… in the summer of 2000.
It was a necessary relationship in my life and I’m forever grateful that it happened.

My blog has become my journal.
My journal used to be private.
My journal used to be kept away in a drawer in my bedroom.
My journal used to be read by only me.
I still have a “private” one, but my blog seems to have taken priority.
My writing skills have blossomed.
My ability to share my thoughts, insights, emotions, feelings, and interests with others has gone to places I never thought it would.
The real me that Trent helped pull from behind the shadows & masks – well, that is what you see today.
Trent’s life on earth was short – but he made a difference! God used him in remarkable ways – not just in my life, but in the lives of many.
Trent didn’t know what a difference he was making in my life – I don’t know if I really did either. Years later, when I read through my old journals and reflect my life before that summer and my life after that summer… well… that’s when I thank God for the connection that made me see who I really was.
I’m still learning how to be real and share that “realness” with others.
I’m a work in progress – have been my whole life – and pray that with each new day, I learn new things, speak truthfully to others, and live life to the fullest.
My desire to share the real, unedited version of our life grows with intensity as I hear and read how it makes others feel. God is using this life that I’ve been so blessed with to connect with others.

I may never know what day will be my last.
I may never know who I will touch through my words or my actions.
I may never know – but, never knowing gives me just that many more reasons to share “me” with you.
I used to want to know who read it and what they thought of it and would get disappointed when I’d only get 2 or 3 comments.
I used to worry about what I was going to write.
But today… well, that feeling of “having to know” and “wishing for comments”… it’s gone.
It’s not about who reads this or what they think… it’s about me…and if my life... our life... somehow affects you or inspires you or challenges you or just makes you think... well… great… I guess I'm on the right track!

~Happy Tuesday ~