a time of transition

you know what I'm talking about ...

that place where you're neither here nor there.

that place where things aren't quite the same as they used to be, but they're not all that different.

transition.

a change.

a movement.

a passage.

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{transition} seems to have become a way of life - not just for some, but for many.

from one holiday to the next.

from one grading period or semester to another.

from the mountains to home.

from pasture to corn stalks.

from month to month.

from paycheck to paycheck.

we're living a life of {transition}.


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I've spent the past few weeks transitioning my class from one trimester to another. There have been tests, final drafts, scheduling, placements, and a little fun in the middle. We're practicing Christmas songs, writing what we're thankful for, and somehow managing to continue to learn our math facts. Transition has become our middle name.

Lindsay {transitioning} Murdock.

Now doesn't that just have a great ring to it?!

School has been so hard this year, but so great at the same time. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. There are so many good things happening and changing, but the amount of energy, stamina, patience and understanding it has required has taken its toll. Not just on me, but on many of my co-workers as well. We're a dedicated and highly motivated staff, so we have survived, but there have been a few battle wounds along the way.

We're transitioning & we're doing it with grace. Not on our own strength, but with His.

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I've also spent the past several weeks in preparation of our upcoming move. Yes, we're moving. I've hesitated to share much about this simply because there are still so many unknowns, and we have not signed any papers yet, but after the land survey is sent in, things should be moving forward. God is teaching me so much about myself and my faith as this process has been a long one, and I continue to look up for the strength and security that only He can give.

I can't wait to give you a glimpse of the future we have ahead of us in the next several weeks. The view is spectacular. The home will be {ours}. The testimony of God's faithfulness will be written on the walls. Please continue to pray that this {transition} will be just what God has had in mind for us!

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a life with deep sighs and mixed emotions.



transition.

It's everywhere.

what are you {transitioning} through?

Maybe it's a new job.

Maybe it's unemployment.

Maybe it's a health concern.

Maybe it's a change in the size of your family.

Maybe it's college.

Maybe it's just getting from November to December.

Whatever it is, know that you're not alone.

Transition is life.

and I pray that God gives you the strength and endurance He's given us through whatever it is you're facing.
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He's right there with you at every corner, speed bump, and intersection.

Have you seen Him lately?

I'd love to know how I can be praying for you - so leave a comment with your {transition} and I will pray!

Blessings ~

a message from Whitey.

almost done with {4}.

In less than a month you'll be 5.

Five.

When did that happen?

Can I slow down time for the next few weeks?

Doubtful.

But I am determined to try.

And ... in just a few Fridays from now, your next trip around the sun will begin.

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I spent some time at school with you today.

Watching.

Reading.

Playing.

Enjoying being the "mom" instead of the teacher.

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You follow directions well.

You're kind to your "friends."

You love puzzles, trucks, books, and playing like you're an adult.

You're quiet and reserved when it comes time to perform in front of others.

You don't miss a thing.

You're a little bit of me, and a little bit of your dad ... but most importantly, you're you.

Unique.

Determined.

Intense.

Silly.

and loved.

Thanks for sharing your afternoon with me Mason.

I ♥ you.

Ava. {pure sweetness}

and her mom & dad are pretty great themselves.

Mason & Dax

are all {boy}!

{and then some}

Cidney's birthday party was at the Roller Skating Rink & I wish I could tell you that I got some great photos of these two on wheels ... but I didn't.

Just a couple of them with wheels in hand.

Who would want to roller skate when you could pretend to be a Monster Truck driver instead?

a boy's best friend ...

is his mother.
~ Joseph Stefano

at least for now.

Thank you again, Luke family, for the GREAT photos!

I deserve it.

That sideways glance ... is she for real?

That rolling of the eyes ... was she serious?

Those thoughts you have about my sincerity and sanity.

Those questions you find yourself pondering over after you've passed me in the store or just read my post.

All of it.

I deserve it all.

I'm no better than you.

I yell at my kids in frustration.

I put off cleaning bathrooms for weeks.

I wait to the last minute to write a college paper.

I complain about people.

I compare myself to others.

and

I roll my eyes too.

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but,

I'm saved by His grace.

I'm forgiven.

I'm human ... and I'm loved.

and I you know what, I still fail over and over again.

but,

I am giving every day a chance.

I am finding myself complaining less.

I am striving to speak calmly as often as possible.

I am determined to show Christ through what I say, what I do, and what I write.

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I deserve to have you shake your head at me.

Shaking in agreement that I'm "real."

Shaking in agreement that we're all in this together.

Shaking in agreement that I'm living & loving ... and learning along the way.

And if you think about it ... although I strive to be uplifting and positive as much as possible ... I need prayers too!
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Happy Monday!

** This is not meant to be a negative post at all ... just a reminder, that although I may seem to have {super powers} and the most positive attitude around ... I'm a work in progress ... & God's not through with me yet :)

Direction.

This path is mine.

I find myself in this small space over and over again.

There is one way out, and one way in.

Sometimes, there is a whole herd pushing me from behind.

And then, at other times the path is completely clear of anything but remnants of those who have been here before me.

Which way did they go?

Did they push forward?

Did they try to turn in fear?

Did they get stuck in the middle?

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I sat in my car last night, thinking of this picture.

Both boys asleep.

The house completely dark.

My school {basket} overflowing.

My anxiety building.

The cold night air just on the other side of the door.

My to-do list in my hand.

Which way do I go?

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I sat.

In the stillness.

And rested.

Not for a long time, but just enough to catch my breath and be still, knowing that the evening was far from over.

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Today, I still don't know which way to go, but I am chosing to follow His direction.

It may be forward.

It may be back.

Whatever it is, it's right.

still here.

MOPS meeting.

College class assignments due soon.

Taking pictures.

Getting tax issues settled.

Dentist appointments for cleanings ... and a broken tooth.

Balancing the checkbook.

Meetings.

Bowling with Rocky Heights staff.

Testing for report cards.

Teaching science with Eryn from U of O.

A 2 year old with a bit of a cold.

A 4 year old wishing he was 18 ... or maybe 40.

Festival of Trees Family Day preparations.

Ordering photos of my family.

Living ... like everyone else.

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and somewhere in there ... I do sleep.

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So yes ... I'm still here.

Listening to the side bar music that I put on my blog.

Trying to stay balanced and beautiful.

Not just by appearance, but by actions and words.

Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God. {1 Peter 3:3-4}

Lord, help me to be gentle and quiet inside ... not angry and rushed.

A little too big ... and a little too small.

But perfect just the same.

They continue to {teach} me as I watch them play.

To use my imagination.

To not worry about image or status.

To continue looking up.

To play.

To get dirty & enjoy it.

To live for today.

And to know that life is good ... even when we are a mess.

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Today we've been {together}.

Making cupcakes & no-bake cookies. {and eating them too}

Rolling out dirt and raking up leaves.

Building toy fences and reading Richard Scary books.

Resting.

Hoping.

Laughing.

Playing.

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Has your Sunday been filled with HOPE as well?

If not.

Hope on.

Because sometimes - even when our hope feels a little too small or even a little too big ...

It's perfect just the same.

Perfect, when our hope is in Him.

... Every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. {Romans 8:28}

Lefty.

There are days when the teacher in me wants to scream.

And on those same days, the mother in me can't help but love you with everything I've got.

We're going to make it ... you and I.

A righty and a lefty.

Two totally different beings, and yet so much the same.

The {5th} ... during 2009.

Sometimes, it's good for the soul to go back and look at where you've come from.

I haven't taken many pictures lately.

It could be due to the busy schedule we've had.

It could be because of the {darkness} that comes soon after I pick the boys up from Deb's house.

It could be because I've spent more time playing with them, than {capturing} them.

Whatever it is, tonight was a chance for me to go back and look and see how much Mack has grown.

Most of these were taken on the 5th of each month in 2009. {except for November}

Some were a day or two off, but not by much.

He's grown so very, very much ... and sometimes I don't even realize how quickly he's changing.

I guess that's one GREAT reason to take pictures.

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It's amazing how fast time goes by.

And it's even more amazing that God's grace has surrounded us day, after day, after day.

These pictures are proof.

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Happy {5th} of November.

I'm praying you have as much to be thankful for as I do.

{And then some.}

Pressure.

To say the right things.

To have the right attitude.

To look the part.

To know the rules.

To follow the rules.

To know when to lead ... and when to follow.

To trust.

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Anxiousness creeps in with the night.

As the sun goes down, circumstances change and worry sets in again.

It's cyclical.

It's gone ... and then suddenly reappears from nowhere.

It's the uneasy feeling.

It's the silence.

It's the opportunity to once again trust the God who knows what we don't.

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I read, and read, and read last night.

Scripture reminding me to cast my cares on Him, for He cares for me.

Verses highlighted and marked as meaningful.

Passages that spoke peace to my anxious heart.

And yet, as soon as my eyes opened this morning, that fear of the unknown hung over me like a cloud.

Trust, Lindsay!

Pray.

Listen.

Live today & know that the {right} things will happen even if they don't feel right.

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Pressure.

It comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes and forms.

It's attributes are different depending on our outlook.

My outlook.

My heart.

My choice.

And today ... I'm choosing to see pressure as the Camas Creek that winds along the highway at Ukiah.

Pressure to follow the path that has been laid ... with a grateful heart that will continue to trust in Him no matter where it goes.

{please pray with me}

My home.

That place where I'm safe.

That place that surrounds me with love.

The rooms that have secrets, and stories, and dreams.

The table that has been spilled on, wiped up, and colored on.

The floors that are worn in places from our feet tramping in and out, and toy tractors racing from one end of the house to the other.

The chairs that are mismatched.

The blankets that keep us warm.

The desk that is cluttered with bills and photos and crayons.

The sink that is clean for the moment.

The refrigerator that is full after buying groceries with a gift card from a friend.

The toaster that pops up a fresh bagel.

The TV that hasn't been on for days.

The closets full of clothes & boots ... and lots of other stuff.

The porch with a chair near the door & 3 shrinking jack-o-lanterns off to the side.

The fireplace that crackles and provides heat.

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I have a home that I'm so thankful for.

And no matter where my home is on a map or what it looks like from the outside, my home is where I want to be.

The forts made with sheets.

The toy tractors and wooden road signs placed in a row near the front door.

The piles of bills & photos and drawings.

The countertop that needs to be wiped down.

The dirty laundry heaped in the corner near the laundry room door.

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My class is writing about {being thankful for our homes} today.

So many different reasons to love that place that defines us ... and yet each home so different and unique.

Some are sparkling.

Some are messy.

Some mean protection.

Some offer quietness.

Some give privacy.

Some are shared.

and some are hard to define with words.

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Home.

It's where I love to be ... and on days like today, I've realized that my classroom is {home} too.

{and not just for me}