Hello Room 1.

the past week of my life has been {full}.

full of dedicated co-workers and friends.

full of last minute changes.

full of labels and file folders and sharpie markers.

full of frustrations & anxiety.

full of understanding and care.

full in so many, many ways ... and yet there were still pieces of me that felt {empty}.

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how can that be?

full ... but empty?

full ... but still aching?

full ... but barely hanging on?

It sounds impossible, yet I believe many of you know it's completely {real} and possible in so many, many ways.
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I am teaching first grade.

I have a new team to work with.

I have 20+ little lives to touch for yet another year in my teaching career.

I am choosing joy.

I am not surviving ... I'm shining as best as I know how.

And just like the large wall in my room says best:

Here ... is right where you belong!

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I belong right here.

here ... teaching these amazing little first graders.

here ... learning to work with new people.

here ... opening the door of extraordinary and sharing it with others.

and

filled ... leaving no room for {empty}.

because empty is temporary ... and being filled with Him ... well friends, that is eternal.

cooling off ...

is sometimes the best way to finish the day ... especially one that comes at you like a fast moving train.

The lip is better.

So much better.

Mason loves school.

Mack is ... well, he's just Mack.

Our pool is {perfect}.

I'm still teaching ... just not what I thought I was.

and God answers prayers ... over and over and over again.

the good ... and then the {bad}

Dear Mason,

Your first day of Kindergarten was wonderful.  You woke up happy {even though you were tired}, you weren't nervous at all - and if you were, you didn't show it. You walked up to your new school with confidence and determination!

Mack didn't want to leave you.  He doesn't know life without you, so the separation from you was hard.  He cried and cried, and you did your very best to reassure him that it was OK and that you'd see him later.

I picked you up at your classroom door at the end of your {long} first day.  You ran to me and smiled - saying "It was fun mom!"  You made new friends, you played and you even got to read one of my favorite stories - The Kissing Hand.

We left your school and picked up Mack who was so excited to see you that he almost knocked you over.  I think you were excited to see him too! {grin} You were both tired, but very happy!

I had to go back to school to work, so I took you and Mack to the sale yard to meet up with dad.  You helped him there for awhile and then went home.  You and dad worked on your "Monday folder"and signed all the papers that needed to be signed, ate dinner and played outside. 

It was a GREAT day ... but had a rough ending.

A bike wreck, a HUGE fat lip and a scraped up face.

Not too many tears, and not the least bit self-conscious. {you definitely didn't get that from me}

You're one strong and mighty little boy Mason ...

so here's to a GREAT {2nd day of Kindergarten} full of questions and looks ... but a bounty of love as well!

I'm proud of you {in good times ... and even in bad} ... and I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love, Mom

blessed are those ...

a summer filled with so many things, so many people, so much sunshine, and so much love.

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the {ending} of moments and memories that made our summer uniquely woven just for us...

and the {beginning} of something new and different right around the corner...

 as Mason begins his adventures as a Kindergartner tomorrow morning ...

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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

~ 2 Cor. 4:18

{love}

Mom's here ... life is good ... and summer evening light just makes the world a better place!!

back to school ... giveaway!

leave a comment by Monday, August 23rd ...

 and win yourself this necklace for that special teacher in your life!

now who wouldn't want to start the 2010-11 school year {shining}?!

Visit

and follow their journey to bringing their daughter home from Africa!

me. myself. & I.

sometimes ... it's not easy to look at yourself in the mirror.

you see all the flaws.

you see all the imperfections.

you see the exhaustion.

you see the hurt.

you see the fear.

you see the wrinkles.

you see the gray hair.

you see {a lot} more than others see.

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Mason took a few pictures of me the other day while we played under our apple tree.

And when I pulled the images up on the computer screen ...

I saw myself ... a little bit differently.

The struggle I'm having right now wasn't apparent.

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I didn't see the mother that feels like she has no control.

I didn't see the wife that has seemed to run out of patience.

I didn't see the teacher who's been having sleepless nights.

I didn't see the girl that can't find much in her closet that looks good.

I didn't see the Christian woman that has found it a struggle to kneel down day after day and ask for forgiveness & mercy.

I didn't see the emotional wreck I've become over the past two weeks.

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I saw hope.

I saw a future.

I saw plans for prosperity.

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and thanks to Mason ... I saw {myself}.

a {love} {hate} relationship.

This boy and his mama ... having a rough go right now.

Pretty sure it's been an ongoing saga his entire life.

And just when I think it's getting better ... well ...

Praying the {love} kicks the {hate}'s rear end pretty soon.

Like immediately.

baby it's {hot} outside...

and this is one of our favorite ways to {cool} off!

...............................

totally and completely {blessed} with a spray park, a little shade and cousins!!

Embracing change.

The breeze blows today.

I can hear the boys playing behind me.

There is a hay truck at the hay shed being unloaded.

Chuckers scatter and a kill-dear protects its young squealing as it runs.

The temperatures have been warm ... actually HOT might be a better choice of words.

But today, cooler air lifts the pages of my journal.

My journal that documents the blessings, the frustrations, the fears, the hopes ... the summer of 2010.

The journal that has been here in the past .... now I hold in my hands.

Different.

Different, but good.

No comments to ease the struggles.

No comments to cheer us on.

Just my thoughts and prayers ... and God's voice whispering in the morning wind.

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I've been home for a week.

A week spent "catching up" on housework, bills, paperwork, laundry, a growing garden ... and mentally preparing my heart and soul for August.

A boy in kindergarten.

New schedules.

Teaching a multi-age classroom of kids.

Last hoorays of summer.

Bulletin boards and color-coded tubs.

Routine.

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Somehow summer has managed to find its way to the center of my heart.

Slow-paced mornings, picnic lunches, popsicles, forts, stacks of books read and re-read.

Beach trips, bike rides, a new baby, tears, and love.

Quiet time on my porch, pink lemonade, watermelon and so much more.

Yes, so much more.

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How does one prepare their heart to leave on season and enter the next?

My guess....

by soaking up that which makes us stronger.

by looking forward, not back.

by appreciating time.

by stepping ahead with trust ... in faith.

The joy, the pain, the life, the fear ... the things we experience now that make us stronger for {then}.... that's how we prepare for the path God has laid before us.
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I could drag my feet.

I could waste days worrying about what may or may not lie ahead instead of embracing what is now.

I could, but I won't.

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Instead, I choose to {love well} & the rest ... well, it will be what it will be.

& I will embrace it.