maybe....

you have to hit "rock bottom" before you realize how much you need God.

If life was "smooth sailing" all the time, there would be no need for Him.
His words would be unread.
No one would be listening for that still, small, yet powerful Voice.
Things would go from bad to worse, with no end in sight.


"It will be about 15 minutes," the woman at the pharmacy told me. I turned my cart around and headed down the first aisle.

The card aisle.

My favorite aisle.

Not just any card aisle... the Hallmark card aisle.

I stopped and read each card that caught my eye.
I didn't rush.
I didn't notice anything happening around me.
I just read.
I smiled.
I laughed.
I cried.
I remembered.
I thought.
I suddenly realized that I held 10 cards in my hand.
10 cards that I needed.
10 cards that were "just right."

and then I found this one: # 11

I bought it.
I bought it for myself.
I'm not going to send it.
I'm not going to bury it in my card box.
I'm going to put it on my desk and remember this weekend.

When truth was made real yet once again.
When God showed me what an amazing amount of support I have - near and far.
When I realized that I'm not alone.
When our friends and family made us a priority.
When my cloud was lifted and my burden was handed to Him.
When I truly experienced PEACE.

I'm blessed.
My family is blessed.
This life we live is not perfect.
This daily grind we find ourselves struggling to get through is our opportunity to let God work in and through us.

Mack has bronchitis, but is on the mend and sleeping peacefully as I type.



Mason took a 2 1/2 hour nap today and has enjoyed "workin' hard" with his daddy in the shop.

I had an extremely positive visit/conversation with my doctor, and feel 25 lbs lighter... even with the bag of samples he gave me to try.

Blessed isn't saying enough.

2 Cor 1:8-9 ...We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril and He will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us...

Colossians 1:29 To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me.

Throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon Him, for you, LINDSAY are His personal concern. 1 Peter 5:7

Exodus 14:13-14: 'Moses answered the people, "do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today...The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'
Stand Firm, Stand Still, He will fight for you TODAY.

Stacy, Ronda, Kirsten, Brenna, Kristie, Kellie, Michelle, Stacy, Shannon, Mom, Misty, Dad, Donna, Ian, Neely, Becky, Amy, Beth, Brenda, KayDee, Crystal, Rebecca, Tanya, Anne... and so many others... Thank you for your unconditional love & support & encouragement.

Life is better because of you.

in need of... (edited Sunday evening)

comfort.
rest.
peace.
strength.
joy.
hope.

Right now... I feel like this:


I don't like to admit that I need help.
I'm struggling with the fact that I've cried at least once a day this week.
On the list of "huge life changes"... we've maxed out.
We done all the things that people say you should spread out over time in 4 months.

4 months of packing, having a baby, packing some more, moving, unpacking, getting a new job, going back to work, dealing with life... and now... 4 months later, and I'm exhausted.

I'm overwhelmed.
I'm tired.
I get frustrated easily.
I take everything personally.
I can't seem to find time for anything.

I have a head cold.
Mason is still coughing like crazy.
Mack has a fever and diarrhea.

I'm trying to get something put in the crock pot for dinner.
I've made myself a cup of tea.
I'm reading my bible & everything is a blur.

but... there is hope.
I know there is... I have to believe that there is...

I've got the best sister in the world who wrote me the most precious and amazing email in the middle of the night. She knew what I needed.
and, I'm calling my doctor in the morning.

I'm going to be OK.
I'm going to keep my chin up.
I'm going to take a nap when the boys are asleep.
I'm going to stop trying to accomplish everything in 2 days.

The laundry can wait.
The dishes can wait.

These two precious boys need a rested, joyful, patient mommy.



I'm tired... and I'm so very, very thankful that I don't have to go to work tomorrow.



EDITED>>>

It's 5:25 p.m.

I've spent an hour in the bathroom doing "steaming sessions" with Mack (he has croup).
I feel much better, but Mack does not.
Mason slept for a total of 41 minutes and 45 seconds.
My nap was approximately 6 minutes and 17 seconds.

I'm alone today.
I was alone yesterday.
The calves are being shipped Thursday and "stuff" had to be done.

I've cleaned up spilled "somethings" off the floor I mopped yesterday 5 times.
I haven't been able to put Mack down for more than 10 minutes.
I built a fort for Mason in 8 minutes 28 seconds.
I've had teary conversations with my mom, my sister, and my dear friend Ronda.
I've appreciated emails with amazing verses from Kirsten and Brenna.
I've chatted with Stacy who "let me vent!"
The comments on this post have kept my spirits up
I've sworn under my breath more than once.
I've written my Dr.'s phone number in giant numbers on the fridge.
Dinner is ready... in the crock-pot... and hopefully Ian will be home to eat it with us.
I'm struggling with my desire to get too much done.
I'm wishing I didn't have to have everything the way I want it.

I'm dealing with something that I never thought would catch up with me... a little bout of depression.

Where does this ugly thing come from? Why does it hit you like a ton of bricks? Why does it seem to cover my spirit with a tent?

I can honestly say I've never been depressed. At least not for more than a day. This constant overwhelmed feeling is new for me and I really don't like it. I don't like what it does to me. I don't like who I am with this "thing" consuming me.

I'm going to be OK. I'm dealing with a lot right now and don't know where to start. I'm thankful I am recognizing the need for help.

I'm going to go play in the fort now. Peace.





7:20

headed to the bathroom for another "steam session" with Mack.
dinner was delicious!
all 4 of us are enjoying life with bales & tails!

Blessings to all of you who have lifted us up in prayer... this day is almost over!

Do I Look Like My Daddy Or What?!

** Note **

Watching the History Channel... neither of them are nearly this "serious" all the time, but the History Channel requires full attention, and is definitely not something to mess around with!

Amazing.

Got this video from my friend Julie today. Totally blown away by it. Had to share.

anything but common.

Re-reading one of my "Max" books right now.
Not sure what made me grab it off the shelf earlier this evening, but I did.
Maybe it was the title.
Maybe it was the ache in my heart appearing out of nowhere today.
Maybe it was the questions racing through my mind about the future.
Maybe God knew I needed to read that chapter with the somewhat crumpled post-it note sticking out the top again.
Yep... I'm thinking He knew, and I listened, and now... I get to share.

Is my life common? Not really.
Am I living in my sweet spot? I'm not sure.
but I do know this:
"Each person is given something to do that shows who God is."
1 Corinthians 12:7 MSG

WOW. Did you read that?! Read it again. Write it down. What a challenge we have each and every day...

Max writes:
Look back over your life. What have you consistently done well? What have you loved to do? Stand at the intersection of your affections and successes and find your uniqueness. You have one. A divine spark. An uncommon call to an uncommon life.
"The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others."
1 Corinthians 12:7
So much for the excuse "I don't have anything to offer." Don't worry about skills you don't have. Don't covet strengths others do have. Just extract your uniqueness.
"Kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you."
2 Timothy 1:6

And do so to... make a big deal out of God.

God never called you to be anyone other than you.
But he does call on you to be the best you you can be.
The big question is, at your best, who are you?

What's your S.T.O.R.Y.??

• What are your Strengths? "God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well." Romans 12:6
• What is your Topic? What fascination did He give you? What makes your pulse race and your eyebrow arch?
• What are your Optimal conditions? What motivates you?
• What about Relationships? When you experience success and satisfaction, how are you relating to people?
• Yes! When do your Strengths , Topic, Optimal conditions, and Relationship patterns converge in such a way that you say "YES!"??

When they do... you're living out your STORY.

I read this tonight... and I was reminded to step back and really, truly and honestly think about my STORY. Am I doing the most what I do best?
I had a meeting after school today. It was draining and left my head spinning. My license will not allow me to stay in the position I am currently in without taking some courses, passing a test, and spending a lot of money. and so... I sat here tonight on my plaid couch and thought... and thought... and read... and reread... and thought some more...

I think I reread this paragraph at least 5 times.

Before you change your job title, examine your perspective toward life. Success is not defined by position or pay scale but by doing this: doing the most what you do best. (Hmmm...)
Parents, give that counsel to your kids. Tell them to do what they love so well that someone pays them to do it. Spouses, urge your mate to choose satisfaction over salary. Better to be married to a happy person who has a thin wallet than a miserable person with a thick one. Besides, "a pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life." Proverbs 13:7
Pursue the virtue of contentment. When choosing or changing jobs, be careful.. Consult your design. Consult your Designer. But never consult your greed.

Am I using my uniqueness to make a big deal out of God ever day of my life? Are you?

A common life? Heaven knows no such phrase. With God, every day matters, every person counts. And that includes you.
You do something no one else does, in a manner no one else does it. And when your uniqueness meets God's purpose, both of you will rejoice... forever.

Hmmm... I have some decisions to make. My family has some decisions to make. Praise God that we don't have to do it alone. Our prayers will be heard. The answers will come. Our future is in good hands.

** thank you all for putting up with my previous post... I seriously have so much more to add, but had to stop somewhere... at least for now! :)
Blessings to each of you... and thanks for the comments!

did you know...

• I love pumpkin pie.
• I don't like conflict.
• I take things personal - even when it has nothing to do with me.
• I make friends easily.
• I got 3rd place at the state golf tournament my junior year of high school.
• I rarely listen to anything but PLR on the radio.
• I have a bowl of ice cream at least 3 times a week.
• I would rather get up early than stay up late.
• I don't know how to snowboard.
• I like to organize cupboards & refrigerators.
• I can't sleep with socks on.
• I've never broken a bone.
• I got pulled over last night for speeding and was given a warning.
• I can't get enough of my sweet baby Mack.
• I need to have 55 x more patience with my sweet little boy Mason.
• I went to Mexico on a mission trip with Campus Life.
• I used to think I had a lot of shoes... and then I met my husband.
• I took piano lessons for a few years - wish I would have stuck with it.
• I cry when I'm angry.
• I like to laugh... but don't do it enough.
• I miss the Windy M.
• I can't ever decide what colors my blog should be, so I change them all the time.
• I love photography.
• I had an amazing sticker collection as a child.
• I love to read.

edited... there's more.

• Daylight savings time messes with my internal alarm clock... it's 4:45 right now!
• I like washing dishes by hand.
• I love scarves.
• I wish I was better at exercising.
• I am amazed each time I watch a mother cow give birth.
• My allergies are off the charts in the winter when we feed the cows. Frustrating.
• I wish I could shop at Andee's all the time.
• I love Christmas trees.
• We share our wedding anniversary with some amazing couples.
• Fiesta Ware is my favorite type of dishes.
• I love my RED kitchen aid mixer, but don't use it as much as I should.
• I loved building forts as a child... still do.
• Nothing beats a warm fire in a wood stove.
• I eat Snoqualmie Falls oatmeal at least 3 times a week.
• I have too much stuff - but have a hard time getting rid of it.
• I have more school spirit as an adult... I guess I stopped caring about what others think.
• I have a hard time finding "just right" jeans.
• I volunteer for way too much... but I'm getting better at saying no.
• I love old barn windows.
• I've learned to be content with what I have... most of the time.
• Junk mail & solicitors irritate me.
• I'm thankful I'm not a phone solicitor.
• I've made some amazing friends through my husband.
• Wheat fields always make me smile.
• My first class of 1st graders are sophomores right now.
• I'm blessed with some amazing neighbors (within 5 miles)... but can't seem to find time to visit.
• Sleeping children are serene, peaceful & beautiful.
• I love celebrating birthdays.... when is yours?

and there's even more...

• I love html color codes.
• I think too much.
• I wonder if my boys will have freckles.
• I used to not like my freckles at all... but I've come to appreciate them.
• I love drinking water.
• A cold beer on a hot day is refreshing.
• College football was never a big deal until I met my husband and his family.
• I love Family Fun magazine.
• Kraft foods has the best/easiest recipes.
• I love making/eating chicken enchiladas.
• I could eat tacos every day of my life... well, maybe every other.
• Pizza & pasta are tied for second.
• I love Christmas music - especially Kenny G or Jim Brickman.
• I always wanted to marry a farmer.
• hmmm... and I enjoy almost every minute of it... almost.
• I wonder why some of my best friends have to live so far away.
• I try to stay positive even when everything seems to be negative.
• I cry easily since having children... not sure why.
• I love leaves & snowflakes... each one so different & unique.
• My favorite candy bar is a WHATCHAMACALLIT.
• I love having a cell phone.
• I wish I could swim at my neighbor's pool at least once a week... but can't seem to find time.
• I am excited to try something new... most of the time.
• My sons have the largest collection of books I've ever seen.
• I would love to study art/photography/design.
• I look forward to Saturdays.
• I love greeting/ushering at church.
• Welcoming others is a gift of mine.
• I love to wrap presents.
• I've never really been much into jewelry, but have grown to "need" it.
• My wedding ring is my favorite piece of jewelry.
• I love fresh flowers.
• Post-It Notes are lifesavers.
• I should've bought stock in it.
• I love to have friends over for dinner.
• I can't seem to find time to do it very often since I've moved.
• I love looking at other people's photo albums.
• I love weddings.
• I admire nurses/doctors.
• I love my family.
• I love the family I married into.
• Craft Warehouse is calling my name.
• I love calendars, but am not good about writing on them.
• I wish I could spend more time at home.
• I love doing things for others.
• Nothing beats a hug from mom.
• My mother-in-law makes the best onion/cornbread... and I don't like onions.
• College was fun, but I'm glad I'm done... or am I?

and finally...

• I love quotes that make me think.
• I like to receive praise - even when I know it's God's praise that I really need.
• I don't like going to the dentist.
• Maybe it's because I've had more than one root canal... just a guess.
• I love luminaries.
• I used to fear dying... then I read In Light of Eternity.
• I can't imagine life without my parents.
• I love old barns and grain elevators.
• I wonder why stamps have to cost so much.
• I always wanted the "perfect" child... how did I ever think that was possible.... seriously.
• I love that God gives second, third, five hundred sixty-seventh chances.
• I am intrigued by the ocean, but fear it (just a little).
• Nothing beats walking along the Oregon Coast.
• I don't enjoy packing/moving, but I know I'll do it at least once more in my lifetime.
• I always wanted to have twins... and then I had Mason.
• If Mackinley had been a girl, his name would be Merin.
• How come baby blankets are so much softer than adult blankets?
• I pray for the patience of Job.
• I have tendencies to be more like Martha than Mary.
• I'm thankful for my sewing machine.
• I don't care for pet birds, snakes, mice, rats, bats, spiders, or wasps.
• I don't have a clue how to saddle a horse... and we have 3.
• Whoever invented Sharpie markers didn't have children.

seriously... I'm having way too much fun with this...

• I can't sew very well... and I sew more on paper than I do on fabric.
• Donna & I still need to finish Mason's quilt.
• I love unexpected phone calls from a friend.
• I wish I was a better listener.
• Why do I always want to be right?
• I hate to lose at any kind of game.
• Competitiveness is not a trait I'm proud of.
• Ian & I both get excited when Egg-Nog arrives at the grocery store.
• I like umbrellas, but am thankful I live where I don't "have" to have one.
• Bowling is fun... especially when I win.
• I love VANS and am so upset that I threw my last pair away.
• Old Navy clothes look better on the mannequin than on me.
• I love long t-shirts.
• I can't stand t-shirts that don't go over my pants.
• I love my Franco Sarta boots with heels & I almost didn't buy them.
• I look forward to vacations.
• I'm thankful for a job that has vacations.
• I save pink starbursts for last.
• If my house was on fire, I'd save my crib & my photo albums & all my back up disks.
• I've tried to grow my hair out several times... but always go back to short.
• I don't drink coffee.
• I love apples & peanut butter.
• Popcorn is a great snack.
• I don't mind speaking in public.
• Speech class in college gave me confidence.
• Writing class in high school and college taught me valuable things.
• Derek Munson(author) commented on my blog once.
• I wish the people who read my blog faithfully and never comment would... just once.
• I love the relationship I have with the I.T. guys in my school district.
• I'm thankful for forgiveness.
• I love to connect with people.
• I miss having my mailbox 1 1/2 miles away from my house.
• Walking to the mailbox just isn't the same any more.
• I love worship music.
• I will write a book someday.

Life at our house.

1 trip to Dr. Earl.

1 hook up with the nebular machine.

1 case of bronchitis.

1 trip to the Safeway Pharmacy.

1 long wait at the Safeway Pharmacy.

1 "Super-Dad."

2 bottles of "drugs."

1 long nap.

1 sick boy.

2 tired parents.

yep... that pretty much sums up life at our house.... and Ian deserves "Super-Dad" award for taking care of all of the above!!

Little Mason needs your prayers ... and his mom, dad & brother probably do too.