Compassion

"But You, O God, are both tender and kind, not easily angered, immense in love, and you never, never quit." ~ Psalm 86:15

First of all - thank you all for your outpouring of encouragement & prayer last week. Your words, insight and prayer has helped me see things in a better and brighter way.

There are so many, many things that play into the "success" of my interactions with Mason & Mack & even my husband.

Routine.
Thinking before speaking.
Seeing the big picture.
Praying - without ceasing.
Offering unlimited and boundless love.
Rest.

Without these as guides, the idea can't become much more than that - an idea. I've had a good week with Mason. There have been struggles, and little "battle of the will" episodes, but my heart has focused on the positive things more so than the negative and things are just better. God is good - and when I quit trying to control things myself, life just seems easier. Hmmm... what a concept huh?! :)

Compassion has been the highlight for this week in Lord Bless My Child. As I've spent time reading and re-reading the short chapter, verses and reflections, I'm amazed at how much I'm learning about myself through praying and studying for my children.

My heart and voice and arms need to show His compassion! If I want my children to fully understand what compassion is & the power it has, then I need to live it... fully and completely live it. Compassion brings the touch of God. As I discipline, I need to be firm, but at the same time I need to offer uncondtional love and compassion. Not an easy task, but definitely one I'm trying to tackle.

The week has not been "perfect," but it has been eye-opening. I've spent some serious time wondering: What is it like to be you? What pressures are you fighting? What expectations are you trying to meet? How can I show I truly care about you? What kind of parent can I be to bring out the best in you?

Both of my boys are unique and wonderful. They are full of energy and life ... and as they grow and change, I pray that compassion is a trait that radiates through them to the rest of the world!

Daddy's Home!

The light is great.

The trees are still.

There is a welcoming aroma of fresh cut alfalfa.

... and then we see him turn onto our road & life suddenly seems complete.

Daddy's home!

The Wall of Mack

Thanks to 4 local artists & 4 of the most talented people I know...
the wall of Mack is done!

Photography by Shannon.
Canvas paintings by Michelle.
Pencil drawing by Brenna.
E-I-E-I-O by Terri.

Sunglasses & Suckers

Does life get much better when you're {1}?

(Aside from the cut to the head and the scrape under the eye.)

"Time Out"

Swimming Lessons ~ August 2008

I've found myself questioning & doubting myself and my role as the mother of Mason several times this summer ... well, actually since he became mobile almost 3 years ago ... but even more so during our days together the past few months. I've posted about it, I've prayed about it, I've cried about it, I've laughed about it.

While I find myself cheering over the fact he is so independent and capable of many things that others wouldn't even think of doing, I cringe and shake my head as I watch him do whatever he wants to do - oblivious to the consequences. There are time-outs, there are spankings, there are many "talks" about what's ok and what is not, there are screaming episodes, there are jumping up and down in anger fits, there are lots of "but pwease mom, pwease" ... I could go on and on. I don't ignore his bad behavior. I don't say one thing and do another. I try to always follow through. I praise. I reward. I encourage. I guide. ... I'm exhausted.

Somehow, each and every day, a battle of the wills occurs. Seriously. He knows the consequences of bad behavior and temper tantrums ... and yet, there is something inside that still tests the waters. He doesn't just wade in to see how far he can get, he dives in, head first and seems to have no regrets at all. He is so hard headed, it's frightening.

This post (and the posts to come - because I know there will be more) is my outlet. It's a cry for help/advice. It's something I hope to look back at next summer and smile to myself about.... and and then breath a HUGE sigh of relief.

I'm praying daily for wisdom. I'm praying daily... actually hourly, for patience. I'm praying so many, many things for this boy of mine ... because really, it is all I can do - holding Mason up to God, pleading for His mercy & His working in his life. Isn't that what it's all about?! Humbly saying Lord - I can not do this alone! ... & then fully and completely trusting that the plans He has for this boy of mine are better than I could ever have imagined.

Mason was put in "time out" at the pool today. He was running and jumping off of a small wall in the shallow end & didn't follow the directions of the lifeguard. The lifeguard had him sit on the edge of the pool for about 5 minutes. He sat on the wall and watched for about 2 minutes and then attempted to slide back into the water without being seen. The lifeguard put him back on the edge, talked to him and turned away. He sat, kicked his legs & eventually got to begin playing again. Two minutes later, I turned to see where he was & found him sitting in time-out again. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just didn't seem to get it. Is he playing me? Does he really understand? How can a boy who has experienced so much in life at the age of 3 not understand that there are rules to life too?

I pulled the book Lord Bless My Child from my shelf this week. It's a journal/prayer/keepsake book that I bought over a year ago. It guides parents in praying for the character of God to develop in their children. It's time for this beautiful book on my shelf to become more than just a thought or something nice to look at... it needs to be reality.

Week #1 - Compassion

Play Date {7.31.08}

That is the best -
to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
~ Gloria Vanderbilt

Anything, everything, little or big becomes an adventure
when the right person shares it.
~Kathleen Norris

Expectations.

With each and every thing I do, I have expectations. Sometimes the expectations are too high ... and sometimes they're too low. This photography class I just finished met every expectation I had and more. It had sincerity, honesty, humor, advice, and as I read through the lessons and assignments, I was challenged to not only be a better photographer, but a better person as well. I found myself taking my camera and my "comfort zone" to new places. I got frustrated, I got excited, and I now feel like I can confidently say "I know how to do that!" I still have so much to learn, and I'm definitely not a professional, but I am a woman who just finished 10 weeks following her heart and am excited to continue to learn about this amazing way to capture so many, many things for the rest of my life.

I'm a teacher ... which means I'm a life-long learner ... which means that each and every day, I look for, seek out, and jump at the chance to learn something new. There are definitely days when it's easier to just sit and watch, and there are some days when I'd like to fast-forward to see if I really did apply what I learned in the future... but truly I love, love, love to learn.

I walked around my yard, the garden, the orchard, and our road last night after Mack fell asleep and found myself totally and completely in awe of the beauty I have right at my fingertips. Some of us may not have the prettiest house, or the most up-to-date clothing, or a manicured yard, or spot-free carpet, but we do ... each and every one of us ... we all have life. We have this opportunity in front of us each and every day & what do we do? Do we complain? Do we compare? Do we wish for that which we don't have thinking it would make life better? Do we take what we have and make it our own? Do we get excited that the sun is shining? Do we look for opportunities to enjoy the beauty of our life?

The last lesson of my photography class was posted early this morning. I found myself wiping away tear after tear as I scrolled from the first page to the last. It was real. It was all about the reasons I take photographs, journal, and blog as much and as often as I can. It was about documenting life {and all it brings with it}. I may be done with the class, but the class is not done with me.

I know that I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again... I blog & take thousands of pictures & spend as much time as I can doing what I love because one day this life that I know and love will come to an end & a better one will begin. There will be a day when my family will look back at the 570+ posts and remember this life that we were blessed enough to call ours was always an adventure {through good times and bad}... and they will smile. They will laugh, they will cry & they may even question, but they will see that life itself is what matters most. We don't have the finest clothes, or the spot-free carpet, or the dream vacations that others do, but we do have life. We have a GREAT life! A great, blessed, wonderful life that is worth documenting each and every second of.

Thank you Karen. Thank you for helping me see who I am & the GREAT life I live... from behind my camera.

** photos all taken last night between 7:45 and 8:30 p.m. pst **