the dentist.

Dear Mack,

You have the most precious personality and charm right now at the age of 5.  Your freckles are multiplying, your eyes sparkle when you smile, and your hair is this beautiful color that catches the rays of sunlight perfectly.

You have also had some interesting dental issues lately too.  I use the word interesting because I really can't think of a better word to explain it.  It's not a bad thing, but it does make it difficult to convince you that dentists really are good people.

Your tooth was cracked recently and when I took you to get the filling today, they found that your tooth was actually fractured.  The nerve was exposed and it may be that they have to pull it.  The only two words that come to mind are NOT and FUN.

Mor-Mor and I sat in the waiting room, school work piled on my lap, and a magazine across hers.  About 20 minutes into the procedure I recognized the wimper coming through the hallway.  And then the wimper turned to sobbing.  It was torture.  Pure torture.  I think everyone in the office wanted to cry with you, and if it makes you feel better, Mor-Mor actually did.

The good news is, our dentist did a fantastic job getting a filling in that little tooth of yours.  He came out and visited with me to explain what he had done, and also to forewarn me that we might have to come back for some more "pain" if you continue to have trouble with that tooth.  I'm hoping that we've seen the last of him for the next few months, but I'm also going to try to prepare you for the fact this will not be your last encounter with pain at the dentist.  Reality isn't always what it's cracked up to be.  The dentist office usually = pain.

..................

Tonight as I rocked you back to sleep, I realized that I have learned something about myself through this whole experience.  As much as I "preach" the following slogans:  ... be brave, just do it, I'm cheering you on, trust God, look for joy, be happy, don't complain, walk humbly ... the list goes on and on ...the truth of the matter is, I'm not always "practicing" my own words.  Funny how a trip to the dentist for you brought me face to face with my own reality.

The reality that I need live and believe everything I so easily insist others do.

I need to quit expecting greatness and bravery and courage from others when I'm not even close to being there myself.

I have told you for the past 2 years how wonderful the dentist is.  I've insisted that it won't hurt - when I know it will, and I've even tried to make you believe that only good things happen when you have an appointment there.

The reality is, life isn't all about sticker and lollipops.

There is pain.

And no matter how hard we try to avoid that which is uncomfortable, it may be just what we need - to push us one step closer to being "that person" we're meant to be.

* That person who faces their fears with the hope and faith that Jesus is right beside them.

* That person who looks anxiety right in the eye and wins the staring contest they've found themselves in - hands-down.

* That person who believes without a doubt that God is for them, not against them.

* That person who practices what they preach ... and preaches only what they practice.

............................

You just cried yourself to sleep about an hour ago.  I tried to console you, but you wanted to be by yourself.

The good news is, you weren't by yourself  ... and you know what Mack, you're turning into "that person."

And "that person" is amazing.

I love you with my whole entire heart ... and then some!

And I think our dentist office has a fond appreciation and love for you too ~ especially after today.

Your biggest fan,

Mommy