Dear Mack,
We took those two, little, worn out, pathetic looking,
wobbly wheels off two months ago. Those
wheels that have been a sense of security for you over the past 2 years kept
you balanced and happy. You loved riding
your bike and you were confident each and every time you got on. You knew that you could go anywhere you
wanted with no help at all, and there was never a fear of who would be next to
you or what might happen if you made a wrong turn.
Standing next to your bike and holding it up was easy. Getting on and tipping left, right, and left
again wasn’t. The unsure and unsteady
feeling that seemed to pour out of you broke my heart. Fear was winning. You begged us to put the “twaining ones” back
on, but we promised it was better without them.
We coaxed you along, and Papa Gary was able to get you to go about 30
feet before you gave up.
Your bike sat for two months. You would watch Mason ride, and usually opt
for the Green Machine, but getting back on your bike was never an option. No matter what I would say or do to reassure
you that after some practice you’d be a Superstar on 2 wheels, you wouldn’t
budge. The look in your eyes said, “I
want to trust you, and I believe what you’re saying might be true, but ... I can’t
do it.”
And then it happened.
The first day of summer arrived and we convinced you to try again. I gave you some jargon about how you were
just a few days away from being 5 and that you would be the bravest and
proudest 4 year old in all the land if you would just try. I felt like Dr. Seuss. “Try it, try it, and then you’ll see …”
Something changed.
Braveness appeared all around you and confidence swirled like a
tornado. You got on, pushed off, and
peddled your way around the house, over, and over, and over again.
Oh to be you at the age of “almost 5.”
By nature you are not a dare-devil. You like “steady”… “routine” … “sure”. Having both feet firmly planted is your idea
of fun. You are your father’s son.
That day when you realized that I’d let go and not left your
side, something happened to your soul. I
ran next to you cheering and clapping, and you begged for me to hold on and not
let go. “You’re doing it, Mack … all by
yourself,” is what I kept repeating. And
then, when I stopped and you kept going, my heart soared. I’m certain yours did too.
There are going to be a lot of things in the life of you
that require faith. Riding a two-wheeled
bike is just the beginning.
Bob Goff
says it well in his book
Love Does with this statement:
Faith isn’t about
knowing all the right stuff or obeying a list of rules. It’s something more, something more costly
because it involves being present and making a sacrifice.
Faith is more about what you’re going to see in people than
what they say Mack. If they’re present
in your life, you’re going to know it.
You are going to know it because they’re “there,” even when they’re
not.
I don’t know what changed your mind that
day, but I hope it had something to do with what you saw me doing - running along side, cheering, and believing in you… and it's what I promise to do for the rest of my
life.
I held you with my eyes, and I’m still holding on today – as
tightly as I can, and even though I’ve let go, I’m still right here. Trust me & have faith in what I’ve shown
you … and then go, and believe in YOU.
I’m with you.
All the way.
And a whole lot of other people are too.
Loving you so much (my almost 5 year old),
Mom