3 gifts round.

The buds were round.  They were days away from popping with color and life.  The fullness of life about to burst.

I touched them with my fingers that day in March.  They were round and full and a bit  mysterious too.

I waned to be like them - days away from bursting into something new.

I never thought I'd want to be labeled as {round} ... but lately, I've felt like I've needed it etched in the dash of my car, embroidered on my pillow case, and even written on my undershirts.

5 big letters ... r.o.u.n.d.

Because when things are round, they're full. It's what they're full of that can be the gift or the curse.

A full calendar.

A full stomach.

A full house.

A full inbox.

A full _________.

The thing I think we have to be careful with is filling our lives with the wrong kinds of things, the wrong use of time, and the even the wrong people sometimes.  Good isn't always great.  I want great.

That's where the difference between round and full meet.

Round is having every part of the surface or circumference equidistant from the center.   Did you catch that?  The center is the key ... and in my world, the center is Christ.  If He's not equidistant from all that I do and say, I'm not really full of the right kinds of things. One part should not out-weigh the rest ... but oh, how there have been days and seasons when the bulge of my head has put me in the category of bobble-head anonymous. 

When your head is outweighing your heart, there's a problem.

I have a problem. I had suddenly gone from round to full & bulging and I didn't know how I had gotten there.

Full means you're lacking nothing, you're satisfied.  You're enjoying all privileges, have an abundance of all that matters, and completely occupied.  The list of definitions went on and on, and as I read word after word, my mind started spinning. In fact, I may have even shouted these two words:

I like the word full, and in fact, my life has been defined by myself and others as {full}on numerous occasions.  Full of much, full of faith, full of ______.

But as I read the words that define {full}, my heart began to ache.  I want a full life, but more than that, I want a round life.  The two go together, but the difference in my mind is that one is bursting at the seams with good, and the other is centered with something great. 

So, over the course of the remainder of this season & chapter I'm living right now, I'm going to pray for fullness, but even more than that, I'm going to pray that this life I'm living and helping my family to live will be round.

Round, and filled with a light that radiates just the right amount of everything, but not an abundance of anything that keeps us from {rolling} with it.

Round like the sun, giving life to those that need it most, and bursting with a light that reflects the greatness that only God can give.

I'm going to pray this for you as well.

For a center that keeps you rolling and a chance to be more than just {full} ... because if you've read this far, you're laughing at the last picture, but you're also wanting something more than just good your life too.

little people in my life.

some posts don't need words.

some do.

this one doesn't.

Happy Birthday Ava ~ we {love} you to the moon and back!

march.

There was a day in March when the sky was blue, the air was warm, and this road on the feed ground called my name.  I opened the kitchen window that afternoon and heard it in a whisper through the breeze.

"It's here. The month to march around walls in our lives and pray for God to bring down everything that keeps us from Him."
- Ann Voskamp

It doesn't look like there are walls of any sort in our world.  But there are.  In fact, I think the tallest and thickest walls are where you least expect them.  Maybe even where you don't see them with the naked eye.  There, in the wide open spaces, are invisible walls.  Walls that hold in worry.  Walls that build up fear.  Walls that discourage.  Walls that give in.  Walls that know His love is there but sometimes try to keep His love at a distance.

Oh how I'm trying to break free of the daily {even hourly} frustration.  I'm trying to get a handle on the raising of my voice.  I'm searching for ways to say yes instead of no.  No builds walls.  Yes tears them down.

This road sign is a beacon. It shouts through the yellow and black.

The {right} way is up ahead.

Home is {right} where you need to be.

Circle.  Keep turning to the {right} and the walls will fall down.

March on.

Spring is here & with each step, you will see beauty & light ... and so much more.

You will feel it tug at your heart and you'll know that it's better to let the light shine than to keep yourself protected.  Walls are temporary - even when they're well built.  No one wants to be friends with a wall.  They want to be friends with one that lets them in - with nothing to hide.  They want the real deal, not the view through the window or the peep hole in the door.  They want what will make them better too.

So as the sun sets on another day, look at the world around you and see the beauty in the light. See the straw, and the grass, and the golden hues.  See the goodness that catches the light just right and lets the world see that everything ordinary about you is extraordinary because of God.

And know that even when you have to pick your nose, you're beautiful because you're you.

on a roll.

We rolled out a lot of hot-wire this winter, which means we rolled up a lot of hot-wire too.

Hot wire through wheat stubble, hot-wire around corn stalks, and even hot-wire through sections of pasture we were trying to save for later.  Thank goodness we saved them for later.

Our world was consumed with little white & gray fence posts, clips, and wire. It seemed that every spare second of any given day had something to do with keeping cows happy & fenced in.

Miles and miles were rolled out, walked, ran, and even stepped out.

We twisted clips, spliced broken wire back together, pounded posts, and rolled life out, and in , and out again.

We smiled, we chased, and we laughed.

We found that when we worked together, the time seemed to fly by & the miles weren't worth counting.  A mile of wire meant a mile of love. Who wouldn't want to have 5 extra miles of love wrapped around their day?

Oh, don't get me wrong - it wasn't my ideal picture of what to do with extra hours in the day, but when you're on a roll, you don't want to stop.  And when you're with the people you love most, you don't want that to end either.

God probably feels the same way about us.  I know He must love when we're willing to walk miles just for Him.  He also probably enjoys those moments when we roll words up in our hearts & then out of our mouths - especially when they're His words.

He wants our best bits of energy, not the weakest.  Each step around a field, or around a home, or even around a neighborhood should be another mile of living for Him.  That's His love.  It's His promise.  It's not meant to be wound up tight waiting for another season, but should be on a roll.  Rolling off the tips of our tongues as a promise, as a hope, and as a reminder that He's got us protected.

We're fenced in with His love.

We're surrounded by weeds, but if we let it, His goodness radiates from our grin, from the sparkle in our eyes, and even from our endurance to do a job well.

I like being on a roll.  I like knowing that things are moving along at a steady pace and that with one foot in front of the other, I'm going to make it.

I don't like to stand still.

And honestly, I don't believe that God does either.

In fact, I think, He's always on a roll - wound up in a crazy sort of way just over us.

Rolling out love, grace, mercy, and buckets of forgiveness ... while rolling us up in His arms when we need Him most.

I don't think I'll ever look at a roll of wire the same again, and I bet you won't either.

gold rush.

We watch this show called Gold Rush.  Maybe you've seen it.  It's a favorite around here. It's about these families putting all their hope and faith into a rock.

They spend all their time and energy doing something that they love hoping it will amount to something great.

They sacrifice much just to make a little gain, and they run the risk of ending up with nothing.

One of the things I love most about it, is that they work as a team.  They make a plan, they work together {although it's not always willingly}, and no matter what,  the end result is usually something worth coming back for.  It's worth fighting for.  It's worth digging for.  It's worth hoping for.

My boys don't know that we don't have gold.  I don't have the heart to tell them.  Would you?

I do know this though...

Although we don't have gold under our squeeze chute, we do have worth. 

We've been made to shine. 

We are valued. 

We are loved. 

We are chosen.

And that's worth putting every ounce of energy into.

Every. Single. Day.

3 gifts found in {me} ... or maybe just one really bad one.

We have 3 dogs.  Jack, Jill & Bingo.

Each one has it's own unique personality.

I was not raised with a pet animal of any sort, so for the past 10 years {after marrying Dr. Dolittle} I now catch myself a bit envious of our dogs, our cows, and even the new kittens that were found in the barn earlier this week.

Envious.  

It's almost hard to type.

  

Who likes to be envious?  

In fact, who in their right mind is jealous of a dog, a cow, or even a cat?

I am.

I want to be like them.  

I want to pace the fence waiting for a glimpse of Ian & my boys just because I love them so much.

I want to be content with a dish full of food and bucket of water.

I want to be happy to just lay in the grass and soak in the world around me.

I want to trust, and rest in the fact that I am loved, and I will be cared for.

I want the attention they get from those they love most.

But here's the thing - 

They don't nag.  They just wait.

They don't throw tantrums every other day.  They know they'll be taken care of.

They don't yell.

They don't create something out of nothing just to have a say.

Yes, they bark, they whine, they moo, and they may even scratch at the door, but most of the time they just love.

They love, and in return they are loved.

What a concept.

..........................................

I can't think of anyone that "likes" to be envious, but I do know a whole bunch of people that are.

I'm at the top of the list.

{ouch}

If I were asked to name 3 characteristics that described me most, I would never - in my wildest dreams - truly want to admit that I'm jealous.

I mean, I can't think of anyone that would want to say:  Hi, I'm Lindsay and I'm jealous - nice to meet you!

But, truth be told, I am.

I find myself wishing for the new couch {that's not a futon} I just sat on at a friend's house.

I catch myself hoping that the light that just came on in my car means my car will die just so I can have a suburban with reclining seats and a DVD player.

I see a glimpse of a tall, beautiful, skinny girl with long, shiny hair and want to look like her - but I know in my heart of hearts that I will always have short hair.  No doubt about it.  And my freckled face will define me for life.

..............................

So, I'm writing this down for me, but maybe it's for you too ...

The grass always seems greener.  

It always appears like someone else has it better.  

A new car with a DVD player and reclining seats doesn't do anything for you when you're the one that's driving.   And note to self:  you're the one driving ALL. THE. TIME.

Having a house full of futons means people like to stay with you a lot.  That's a gift.

Don't be fooled by consumerism.  

Don't be fooled by the standard of the world.

Don't even let your best friends fool you.  They wont' try to on purpose, but it might just happen.  Don't fall for it.

You are blessed.

You have just what you need.

You are exactly who you need to be.

Stretch, yawn and {rest} in that.

And take a lesson from those farm dogs ... 

* when you are an easy keeper, people don't just need to love you, they WANT to love you.

* when you whine less and love more, you'll be loved back.

* and when you show up with no expectations except to have a good time, you'll have an amazingly good time - every time. Guaranteed.

Now go curl up at the {feet}of Jesus and rest up!  You've got a big day ahead of you - because in your world, every day is a BIG day!