Kutless.

is speaking to my soul.

is giving me hope.

is lifting my spirits.

is reminding me to focus on the fact that Jesus is {everything I need}.

nothing more.

Just Him.



When every step is so hard to take
And all of my hope is fading away
When life is a mountain that I can not climb
You carry me, Jesus carry me.

You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me

You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

I need You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You

You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

wordless wednesday.

this one calf.

She was born blind.

We didn't know it until day 3.

Ian's kicking himself for not noticing sooner, but he shouldn't be.  At least he noticed. Period.

She lived in our laundry room {aka mud room ... also know as the entry to our home} ... for 2 days.

She brought hope to Mack and Mason's world.

She brought adventure.

She brought a bunch of extra love I didn't know they had.

She brought a mess.

But don't we all.

By Sunday morning I was a bit exasperated by her faint mooing sound {which sounded more like a cry for help or maybe even pain medication} and her attempts to get to her feet.

I was discouraged by my own problems, miscommunications, and exhaustion ... and her lack of strength seemed to pull me down even further.

The boys hovered over her, petted her, showed her books and covered her up - over and over again.

I watched with regret knowing she probably wouldn't live.

I detest watching others suffer ... including cows.

I had little hope.

Ian would come in and feed her, while trying to convince himself that she was doing better.

I would just watch.

I wanted to care.

I wanted to nurture her ... but I couldn't make myself.

I was so stuck in my little pity party of dealing with the messes that seemed to be piling {literally} all over the house whenever I turned my head, that one little dying calf was the least of my concern.

And then, when the mooing stopped and her body stopped moving I did the most pathetic thing of all.

I sat in the laundry room and just stared at her.

I was lifeless, and so was she.
......................................................

A normal ranchers wife probably would have been the one nursing it back to life instead of wishing it was in the barn or waiting for her husband to come in and deal with it.

An average ranchers wife probably wouldn't have sighed a sigh of relief when the mooing stopped.

A typical ranchers wife isn't me.

..............................

I'm still trying to figure out how to live this life I've been given.

The disasters.
 
The accidents.
 
The fights for life.
 
The job that isn't a job, but a lifestyle.
 
Someday, I'll be the one covering the sick calf up with blankets and propping its head up with towels.

Someday, I'll be the one nurturing the heck out of the sweet little calf that has made it's way into my home like my husband and boys were all weekend long.
 
Someday, I'll be more about them and the {bigger picture} and less about me.
 
And I sure hope someday is sooner than later.

in no particular order.

371.  Creative ways to share stickers with friends.  When I asked him what he did with them after school - he proudly stated that he {sold them} ... which really means that he gave them away.

372.  This silly, playful, adorable puppy.  Rusty Mae has all of our ♥s ... well, almost all of us.

373.  Through a dirty windshield ... his glance in my direction makes me grin.  Someday he will enjoy having his picture taken.  Someday.

374.  Hay we're {saving} now that most of our pairs are on stubble ... and the {protection} it's under.

375.  The {few} left to calve at home.

376.  Dictionaries & the joy, life and meaning they bring to our day in room 1.

377.  Sugar cookies + sprinkles = delicious ... and a few pounds gained I'm sure. {yep ... I just got on the scale ... oh well.}

378.  A bruised, scraped and swollen face, but nothing more.  God's protection was definitely covering him while being bucked off on Friday morning.

379.  Scrambled eggs, bananas, and cinnamon toast ... a favorite in our house that seems to warm the soul and feed our spirits.

380.  Valentine's made and personalized thanks to a new found blog called eighteen25.

 381.  Green grass starting to grow and sunlight fading into the horizon.  Two of my favorite things.

.........................................

I am back on the {multitude of much} bandwagon.

There are so many {great} things in life to grasp onto when darkness seems to be finding it's way into your heart ...

so, here's to sparks of light that brighten our days ... and hopefully the days of others too.

hands up.

I think to live intentionally we must have a really good whine every now and then.  Complain (to yourself, please) for no less than sixty minutes, once a month, about the lousy hand you've been dealt or the unfairness of it all.  Get it out.  Rant and rave.  Wave your hands. Stomp your feet.  And then drop it.  Or else you might get challenges much bigger than a bad hair day to distract you from your personal pity party.

~ Ellen Miller, Inspirations for Girlfriends

..................................

Sometimes the best thing you can do is throw your hands up and say out loud : I GIVE UP.

And as I learn more and more about the {grace} of God, I'm finding it so comforting that His grace is sufficient for me.

I cannot manage life without Him.

I cannot live a productive, healthy Christian life on my own.

I am not self-sufficient.

Your deeds don’t save you. And deeds don’t keep you saved. Grace does. ... “By the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Cor. 15:10 NKJV) ~ Max Lucado, Come Thirsty

1 Peter 5
His hands are above us to cover us & beneath us to carry us.

 My hands are up.

... and I'm reaching for {grace}.

penguins.

One of my favorite things about being a teacher is the {fun} you can have while you learn.

Imagine that.

Fun and learning at the same time.

And those {blessed} boys of mine get to join in on the {fun} at home too.

...................................

Writing theme this month is {penguins}.

Art projects this month are {penguins}.

And our Valentine holders are ... you guessed it ... {penguins}.

♥ found in a paper sack, some construction paper, scissors, glue, paper hearts and stickers!!

........................

and to answer my mom's question ...

We had all the stickers for Mason's name ... and only Mac for Mack.

Mac just wouldn't do {according to Mason} ... so we went a 3.

Because ... well ... "that's how old you are Macky."

And a number is just as good as a name ... according to Mason.

And he knows {everything}... in case you were wondering.

In fact, he added a 6 to his just to make a point.

.......................

So tell me ... if you could be a number ... what would you pick?

I don't know if I'd pick my age because it's always changing and growing ... but then again, so am I.

Hmmm ... what number would I be?

More on that later.

Looking for love.

You got out of the car yesterday and did your usual {I love you mom} ... {I love you Macky} ... see you after school guys!

 And then, as I watched for your little wave, you surprised me.

You blew me a kiss, grinned from ear to ear, and turned toward the school.

What good that did my ♥.

Such good.

I wondered all day what or who made you think to blow a kiss.

Do I blow kisses that often?

Do I surprise you with little acts of love?

If I don't ... I need to start.

.........................

And so, this morning, without saying anything to you about yesterday, I quietly turned my camera on and waited.

Good bye mom.  I love you.

Goodbye Macky.  Love you Macky.

and then this ...

.................

Sometimes, when you're living life ... you forget to look for love.

And suddenly you're reminded that it's the little things ... that really are the big things.

So ... the month ahead will be spent looking for {love}.

Looking not only for ways to give it ... but remembering to receive it as well.

♥.