Being "Human"

Stepping back into the full-time working mom~farmer/rancher wife mode has been interesting.
I'm learning a lot about myself.
I'm seeing things from a different view.
I'm smiling & appear to be doing "great" to the world around me, but am struggling with my attitude inside - especially at home.
I'm tired.
I'm searching for ways to be more efficient.
I'm human.

My habits aren't all they're cracked up to be.
The organizational skills I once had mastered are now fuzzy and jumbled.
I am still a professional multi-tasker & probably always will be.
I don't react in positive ways as often as I want to.
I expect perfectionism from my husband and children, but need to look in the mirror.
I'm a great friend to a lot of people, but still question who I really am.
I'm human.

I'm sitting here tonight - having some quiet time to reflect and think about me.
...and I can't help but wonder: What God is seeing when He looks at me?
Is He seeing what I'm seeing?
Is He wishing that he was seeing something else?
Is He watching me roll my eyes ?
Is He hearing the frustration in my voice?
Is He crying with me, for me, or because of me?
Is He hoping for more time with me?

My book of Lists to Live By is open yet once again.
My Max Lucado books are stacked about 2 feet high on the table next to me.
My Message Bible is open to James.
My heart is heavy, but I know that God is at work.

I have two lists to share with you. As I read them, I stopped... & pondered... & prayed... & re-read them at least 5 times.
These lists contain things I "know."
These lists contain things I do (sometimes).
These lists are now taped to my bathroom mirror.

TO BE A GOOD FRIEND
1. Smile often; laugh aloud now and then; giggle even.
2. Become aware of several things that you especially enjoy. Watch for others who enjoy those same things.
3. Identify an acquaintance who has a need you can supply. Offer yourself.
4. Learn to enjoy being alone with yourself. Identify what elements of living enrich your life. Incorporate them in your daily routines. If you are happy being with you, it's likely others will enjoy your company too!
5. Forget what you give, and remember what you receive.
6. Be the one who is there doing when others are asking "Is there anything I can do?"
7. Listen - even in the silence.
(from "Friends Through Thick & Thin")

WATCH WHAT YOU SAY
1. Never tell jokes that slander.
2. Never criticize in public unless you: have already expressed your disappointment with the other person in private, have already taken someone with you to discuss the grievance with the person, and are absolutely convinced that public reprimand is necessary and will be helpful.
3. Never say anything about anyone in their absence that you wouldn't say in their presence.
(from Max Lucado - "God Came Near")


Both lists are powerful.
Both lists are worthy of being followed.
Both lists convicted me.
Both lists reminded me of the person I need to strive to be... ALL the time.
Both lists are the desire of my heart.
Both lists are affirmations that I AM HUMAN and that I need to remind myself time and time again of these simple words:

~ Treat others the way you want to be treated.
~ Say things that you would want others to say.
~ Act in a way that is a reflection of God at work in you.
~ If it doesn't feel right - don't do it, don't say it, don't even think it.

I said some things this week I shouldn't have said.
I let frustrations take over.
I let things get to me & didn't want to let them go.
I thought I knew best when I really didn't.
I was human.

and now... as a NEW week begins, I'm going to do my very best to focus on, pray for, and radiate these things:

It's best to listen much, speak little. James 1:19 TLB

"The humble heart honors others." (Max)

"Try to treat people the way you want God to treat you." (Max)