It's a struggle.

**NOTE **
the previous post ... the little trip my class took across town to read to some elderly folks ... we weren't the only ones who went.
Several other classes from my school took time last week to spread love and {youthful joy} ... I'm just the only {camera crazy} teacher who likes to document everything ... so, I can't take credit for being {wonder teacher} ... and after you read this post, you'll really think I'm more like {The Teacher from the Black Lagoon}.
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Every day I'm {in charge of} 24 seven and eight year olds. My job is to teach them great and amazing skills that enhance their reading, writing, knowledge of math skills like place value, graphing, money, carrying, borrowing ... letter sounds, spelling, landforms, state symbols, maps,life-cycle, bodies, nouns, verbs, sentences, main ideas, paragraphs ... and so much more.

Every day I unlock my classroom door, flip on the lights, turn on the computers, and pray that the day is successful.

Report card time, grading time, end of the trimester time, the beginning of the holidays time ... it's overwhelming. And somehow, magically, I'm supposed to leave all of the {stuff} in my own life at the door when I enter each day, and help these sweet boys and girls who so desperately want to learn become better, brighter people in our world.

It's hard. It's draining. It's challenging. It's mind boggling. BUT, it's my job.

Today, every one of my 24 little sponges was {present}. They practiced parts of small plays they are going to be in. They played at recess. They read books. They started writing letters to soldiers in Iraq. They practiced for their Christmas concert with the other three classes of 2nd graders. They wrote their {weekend reports} in their journals.

and ...they talked ... and talked ... and talked. Due to all of the talking and a few other unmentionable catastrophes, they spent some time with their heads down. Some visited with the principal. Some visited with the counselor. Some struggled to complete even one task of the day.

But... they weren't the only ones struggling today ... I struggled today.
I struggled with knowing how to best teach them when they really wanted to talk more than listen.
I struggled with knowing how to speak calmly when I really wanted to scream.
I struggled with knowing that how I responded to certain challenges affected the entire day.
I struggled. period.

I try really hard to be an effective, positive, and strong teacher all of the time, but at 2:20 today when the lights were low and my students and I just sat in our {quiet} home away from home, staring at each other, honesty prevailed.

I talked, and they listened. I shared my frustrations with them, and they listened. I apologized from my heart, and they listened. The bell rang, and I promised them tomorrow would be better.

Oh, how I pray it is.

... and as I struggle to educate these children, I'm reminded of the inspirational/motivational speaker I admire so very much and a few of the words he wrote directly to me at the beginning of this challenging year ...
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Your statements about yourself are priceless. Be sure to refer back to them on any day that you are feeling discouraged by some tough times in the classroom.

(If you do not experience some tough times in the classroom, you are probably not doing a very good job!)

It is an awesome thing that children do when they bestow the title "My Teacher" upon you. Make every minute count.

Always remember that laughter is one of the keys to being a great teacher. Laugh daily with you students.

Sincerely,

Your admirer,

Mac Bledsoe

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He didn't know what my year would be like. I didn't know what my year would be like. It's the end of the first trimester, and my students aren't the only ones who are {learning}.